goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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