I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
