Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
