the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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