if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
