just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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