So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
