just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
