so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
