Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
