Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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