he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Randomize
