I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
This baby is an asshole
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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