i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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