I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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