i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize