with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Randomize
