I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You may now shotgun with the bride
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
