um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Even my vagina gasped.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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