she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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