Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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