Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
