I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
