It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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