My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
