I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
