I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
