Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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