peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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