I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
