How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
