So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
