hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I wish life had little blips of pornography
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
