dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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