you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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