I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
