Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
