I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she was so not down for the gang bang
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
