I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
nutella sex= disaster
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Randomize
