apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize