it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
