your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
