Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
