OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
