in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
