My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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