They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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