she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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