i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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