That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
