Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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