Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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