i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
