have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
