I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize