East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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