i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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