i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
