Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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