Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
